Marriage To Last Longer Or Not
I did not know how this happened. How could I have allowed this to happen, of all people, to myself? My mouth dry, sweat dewing my brow, I looked up towards the high cathedral ceiling and tried to make sense out of the haphazard stained glass window panes just as I attempted to make sense of my mental commotion.
Could I run away? I did not think so. The reason why was sitting at the front pew, wearing her new red dress, smiling widely and bending her silvery black head to chat unintelligibly to her neighbor. Excited, happy, and not a little exhausted with what all these Herculean efforts to arrange her eldest son’s wedding; my mother.
The groom may lament the fact that he has to face all the anxiety of the marriage ceremony. At this point he will be sensitive to what others do or say in front of him.
Young people would rather not be tied up in marriage when they are still below 40. They don’t regard it as important as their elders do. For them, as long as they are in a relationship, they can plan to settle down later when they decided to slow down in life. Their parents however do not share the same view as these young people. They will tend to push them into tying the knot. More often than not, the youngsters have to go along with their parent’s decision.
Sometimes I did ask myself why I gave in to Mother. But I knew I wanted her to be happy. And she would not be happy until she saw me married and settled down, preferably with a few grandchildren on the way.
I knew it was too late to back out. Everything in the past few months was arranged down to the last excruciating detail, all in a bewildering whirlwind presided over by our indomitable matriarch. The wedding themes at the church and at the lavish banquet tonight were major headaches - especially the exasperating photo-taking sessions where we pasted perpetual smiles. Later we required WEEKS of shopping for wedding supplies such as the wines, the menus, the decorations, the flowers, the ribbons, the bridal car. the list went on and on. Not to mention the cake! My parents and in-laws actually devoted half an hour (imagine that!) just to choose from the endless arrays of wedding cake toppers. Why on earth would people need cakes for wedding I could never fathom the reason. And if they do, which of the guests would actually admire the cake toppers?
It is often argued that there should be less fuss over preparing such detail matter into the ceremony. No one would give a hoot if the cake top was adorned with little figurines of bride and groom or doves. These things mean nothing after the cake is consumed. Although this is true, imagine the opposite, a topless cake, this will get the guest wondering why.
The man could no longer argue with his mother.
The most outrageous thing he figured was the bill for the bridal fashion and jewelry. The bill alone was enough to choke him. What on earth was it that his fiance ordered from the bridal shop? He figured she must have bought two seasons wardrobe from there.
He never thought that a dress would cost a fortune. It’s not like she’s going to wear it everyday!
Nonetheless, when the groom sees his bride for the first time in the ceremony, he would forget about all the troubles he went through. He might even feel excited.
The bride stood at the entrance of the church, everything he had thought about vanished from his mind. His heart started to beat high-speed. At that moment, his gaze was fixed on her. Like as angel she seemed to float to him, smiling and he could not believe that she was going to be his.
All the uncertainties that the groom had before this will disappear in a twinkling of an eye. Seeing the bride for the first time of the eventful day would immediately change his mind. He would then value the most meaningful part of the whole torment.
He took her hand as a sign of a new beginning. They will be joined forever.
The keys to a lasting relationship are understanding and respecting each other. Getting through tough time will be tolerable when couples have learnt how to deal with each problem patiently. Only then can they raise a family with true devotion.
It was all as if he was dreaming. He knew that they loved each other and that is all they need.
Only then will saying “I do” be as easy as taking one’s breath.
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